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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26061790">Impossible Normal</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/AquaeLucidae/pseuds/AquaeLucidae'>AquaeLucidae</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood &amp; Manga</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - College/University, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, POV Roy Mustang, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Reunions, Sad gays, Sort of? - Freeform, ed is a phd student, ill add more tags probably</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 11:28:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,290</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26061790</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/AquaeLucidae/pseuds/AquaeLucidae</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>General Roy Mustang has been in the same dreary routine for years now. He's going on for 40 and he's tragically friendless and single.<br/>That is until he runs into Edward at the Alphonse Campus. With children and 10 more years under his belt, Edward is simultaneously the same guy, but also worlds different to what Roy remembers.<br/>Maybe he has the power to shake up the routine.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Both of those are past though, Edward Elric/Ling Yao, Edward Elric/Roy Mustang, Edward Elric/Winry Rockbell</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Impossible Normal</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I'm back lol<br/>This time in the fandom lucky dip we've got Fullmetal Alchemist!<br/>This was spawned in part from me rewatching the show, but also I did some maths and found out that Roy was 23 when he was sent to Ishval! That got me really sad for him, because he has to live with the reputation of serial murder for something he was made to do as a very young person!!<br/>So I wrote about it. It evolved into a couple chapters. Pray for me.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>General Roy Mustang was, if you excuse his language, fucking tired.</p>
<p>The sun had set what felt like hours ago. The office was almost picturesque when the sun came streaming through the window in the late evening. It cast a beautiful tint of molten red and gold onto the desks, the walls, the floors – and, unfortunately, the stack of papers on Roy’s desk.</p>
<p>At this hour, though, the only thing lighting up his desk was a rather grim lamp; it was less of a glow and more of a glare. It burned one’s retinas with even more potency when it reflected into tired eyes from white sheets of paper. Honestly, Hawkeye’s smart enough that it wasn’t a stretch to think that was intentional. And mean, too.</p>
<p>Now, however, he was finally done for the night. With about as much glee as you can muster when you’ve been staring at papers for the past who-knows-how-many hours, he rose from his chair and strode out of his office. He near strutted to the front desk, occupied only by the late-night receptionist.</p>
<p>He was a rather mousy looking man, with big round glasses and a tiny little brown bun on the back of his head. Roy would say he was that sort of pretty where you’d like his face but wouldn’t think about it twice. Regardless, he signed his departure and slid back the register with a wink. Like always, whenever Roy was this late, mousy receptionist would flush a little but otherwise ignore him. Honestly, that suited him fine, although it did hurt a little that he wasn’t as drop-dead as he used to be.</p>
<p>Since it was so late, he knew he was walking home. It wasn’t like Havoc was going to give him a ride at – he checked his pocket watch – going on for 1 o’ clock. It was a pain in the ass, sure, but he could cut through central’s Alphonse Campus, which was just as lovely and inviting as who it was named after.</p>
<p>It was built on the site of the third laboratory. Roy supposed that was a better use than any. It had a lot of roses planted in all sorts of different colours. Like any other campus, it had a university centre and some student accommodation. The buildings were pretty unremarkable; they were designed to blend in with the rest of the architecture of central. Overall, it was rather quaint but also a lovely place to walk. Well-lit, and recent enough that there was no risk of secret potholes.</p>
<p>Roy walked in relative peace. It was a cool evening, so the only thing he had to look at other than the flowers was the wispy air as he breathed out. He, like an idiot who didn’t think he had over 200 documents to read and sign today, didn’t bother to bring a scarf.</p>
<p>Distracted, he didn’t even notice himself approaching anyone. That is, until their shoulders collided with a grunt from each. Roy, ever the diplomat, began on his apologies. “I’m dreadfully sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going.”</p>
<p>“Eh, it’s alright, man—” An unsettlingly familiar country accent responded.  “Wait—colonel bastard?”</p>
<p>Roy blinked. He turned his head a little more and, to his thorough dismay, he tilted his head upwards to see some golden eyes and matching hair he hadn’t seen in a very long time.</p>
<p>“I’m a, uh, general now,” Is the only thing Roy could say. He had to look up at Fullmetal. Did he pass out back at his office? If so, a cleaner should wake him up soon, right?</p>
<p>“General Bastard? Nah, that doesn’t have the same zing to it. What about General Jackoff?” Fullmetal looked back with an amused look on his face. What was he now? He’d been 16 on that day, so he had to be… in his mid-twenties by now, right? “Say something, General Jackoff. It’s been a while.”</p>
<p>Roy let out a little laugh-sigh and finally, his famous Mustang mouth decided to work. “Yeah, I guess it has. I’m sorry, when did you get tall-?”</p>
<p>Fullmetal’s eyes narrowed. “What’s that supposed to mean, bastard? Are you calling old-me so short that it’s unbelievable that he can now reach to the second shelf in a grocer’s? Huh?”</p>
<p>Roy couldn’t help himself. He properly laughed. “It’s good to see you’re still the same person, Fullmetal.”</p>
<p>“I don’t know if I’m the same person. Shit happens y’know? Either way, I’m not Fullmetal anymore. Remember?” He said. He looked sobered, serious. Roy supposed no person was the same as they were when they were a teenager. Come to think of it, he didn’t think he even knew Edward anymore.</p>
<p>“Alright, Edward. Do you want to come to my house and catch up a little, or do you have somewhere to be at 1 in the morning?”</p>
<p>Edward laughed. “Nah. Lead the way. My room is kind of sad anyway.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>After a quiet walk through central, they eventually reached Roy’s house. Havoc called it his ‘bachelor pad’, but really it was just an unremarkable 2-bedroom terraced house. It was expensive, sure, but that came with the territory of Central. He had his own little car parked at the front, and the front porch was well kept but entirely bland.</p>
<p>“I dunno where I imagined you to live, but I didn’t think it’d be here,” Edward said. Honestly, Roy had to agree. This isn’t where he pictured himself being either.</p>
<p>“Well, a man has to live somewhere,” Is all he replied as he unlocked the door and flicked the lights on. He never saw the point of decorating, since he’d always assumed he would move out. That was when he first got into central, years ago. He kicked off his shoes, shoved them under the coatrack and hung his military jackets above it. Edward did the same as he walked through to the kitchen.</p>
<p>“What do you want to drink?”</p>
<p>“I dunno. What you got?”</p>
<p>“Whiskey, rum, gin, a couple cans of beer. I began a nice little bottle of rosé if that’s your thing. Havoc left a bottle of tequila here after his last breakup, so there’s that. I’m a deft hand at cocktails, if I do say so myself!”</p>
<p>“I don’t, uh, drink. Can I just have a tea? One milk, no sugar.”</p>
<p>“Alright,” Roy replied, flicking the kettle on, and getting a nice finger of whiskey for himself. Whiskey had always been his go-to since Ishval, but he wasn’t some miserable bastard. Sometimes he had something else. The kettle boiled and he got to making Ed’s tea.</p>
<p>“Boring house you got here, Mustang. You just move in?” Edward was behind him now, peering over his shoulder as if he were making sure he didn’t screw up his drink.</p>
<p>“I suppose you never did visit me,” Roy mused, “I’ve lived here since I was transferred from East.”</p>
<p>“I was busy!” Edward snapped back in defence, “Plus it would be kind of weird for a fully grown man to be visited by a teenager.”</p>
<p>Roy laughed a little shakily. “I suppose it would have been.”</p>
<p>He stirred the tea with a teaspoon and handed it to Ed. He slipped off his gloves, putting them into his back pocket, and he led Edward into his living room, whiskey in hand.</p>
<p>“Why do you wear your gloves, Mustang?” Edward asked, flopping into his seat with a heavy thud that almost comforted Roy. That teenager was a tall, healthy man now. “Surely you can do it without the circles. Or did that bastard Truth take your sight before he showed you all the stuff?”</p>
<p>Roy laughed again, a little more heartily. “I’ve worn them for so long, it’s a part of my image now. And… It’s soothing, I suppose.”</p>
<p>Edward looked confused, but didn’t prod. Another way he’d grown.</p>
<p>“Anyway, tell me about yourself, Edward. It’s been a while since we last caught up, after all.”</p>
<p>He furrowed his brow and took a little sip of his tea. “I dunno. Where do I start? I got married. Had a couple kids. Got divorced. Canoodled with an Emperor. Came back. There’s the summary.”</p>
<p>Roy opened his mouth and closed it again. He repositioned himself in his seat. “Oh. Wow.”</p>
<p>Edward near cackled. “Speechless, Mustang? That’s a first!”</p>
<p>Roy huffed, a little flushed, and finished his whiskey. “I’ve just realised how boring my last few years have been.”</p>
<p>Edward sighed, his jovial look gone, “I wouldn’t say boring, Mustang. You only became the first openly queer man in politics and put the groundwork in place for the rebuilding of Ishval. That’s not nothing.”</p>
<p>“It’s all paperwork and interviews,” Roy replied, looking into his empty glass, “Bureaucracy has a way of sucking the feeling of progress away.”</p>
<p>Edward snorted. “You can say that again! They let me straight on to doctorate stuff, seeing as I’m the genius and saviour of our time and all that. You’d think they’d just let me discover the answers to all these big questions, but the paperwork? Ugh, no wonder nobody else has solved all this shit before. The theses? Mind-numbing. Peer reviewing? If anyone else understood what the hell I was going on about, why haven’t they solved it themselves yet? It’s stupid!”</p>
<p>Roy laughed until he was wheezing. There was a warm glow in his neck and an airiness to his head. When had he become so old that all it took was one finger of whiskey?</p>
<p>“That’s… A unique problem,” He eventually said, once his laughter had died down, “You’ll get through it, Edward. You’ve got through worse.”</p>
<p>He only hummed in agreement, taking another sip of the tea. The lights in his living room were terribly dim, but they definitely lit Edward up beautifully. The loose, wispy strands of golden hair seemed to give him a halo, of sorts. Roy would never admit it to him, from fear of sparking a debate on the validity of religion in a scientific world.</p>
<p>“I miss my kids a lot,” Edward said finally, so sombrely that it nearly jarred Roy’s neck, “When they’re not here. Winry keeps ‘em during the weekdays because she works from home and I don’t. Down in Rush Valley. I get them on the weekends, but I still miss them.”</p>
<p>Not quite sure how to respond, Roy hummed.</p>
<p>“I mean it’s stupid, right? I know I’ll see them in five days when I watch ‘em go on the train. I know it. It’s irrational that it hurts so bad.”</p>
<p>This was a side of him that Roy could never have imagined. An Edward so open and solemn. An Edward that actually trusted Roy enough to speak his truth at two in the morning, in Roy’s little terrace.</p>
<p>“Winry… I trust her, too. Most people have the luxury of being awkward with their ex but we’re just… not. Most people can pretend they’re upset because it’s their ex the kids are with, but I can’t. I trust Winry almost as much as I trust the sun to rise in the morning. Not as much as I trust Al, but… Close.”</p>
<p>Roy felt guilty that all he could do was nod along. These years, that Ed spent making memories, falling in and out of love, discovering himself, Roy had been in Ishval. He’d been too young, honestly. Roy didn’t understand why no one stopped him, or Riza, or Maes. It left him at the knowledge that lots of others, just like him, are dead, or damaged like him.</p>
<p>Older people are supposed to be able to give advice to those that are younger than them, yet Roy kept drawing blanks, over and over again.</p>
<p>“It’s all by the by, I suppose—Roy?”</p>
<p>Roy looked up, air rushing out through his nose, harshly. No matter what, he couldn’t breathe back in.</p>
<p>“You okay? Did I hit a nerve or something?” Edward asked, brow furrowed in concern. He placed his cup down on the coffee table with long fingers and walked over to Roy. “Hey, it’s fine, okay? You’re fine.”</p>
<p>Roy breathed in in sharp jolts, closed his eyes, and began to count. One. Two. Three.</p>
<p>Edward gently took the glass from his hand as he counted. He put it onto the table by his mug and put a hand over Roy’s, white-knuckled on the arm of the chair.</p>
<p>Once Roy had got to ten, his breathing was a lot less strained. Ed’s hand was still on top of his.</p>
<p>After what felt like a few minutes of silence, Roy found his voice. “Sorry. Lord, I’m not usually this bad. I need some rest.”</p>
<p>Ed gave him a firm but sympathetic look. “You don’t need to apologise, Mustang. Here I was, wittering on about myself so much I didn’t notice you were upset.”</p>
<p>Roy shook his head and picked up the glass. He took it into the kitchen and rinsed it out in silence. At least, it was silence, until Edward followed him through with the characteristic thud, clink of his footsteps.</p>
<p>“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked, handing over the now empty mug, “I know I’m younger ‘n’ stuff, but I’ve had my fair share of things to be traumatised about.”</p>
<p>Edward had always been more perceptive than he looked; it should’ve been no surprise that he noticed. “There’s not really much to tell. I signed up to be an alchemist and I was turned into a soldier at 23.”</p>
<p>“Wait—23?” Edward asked, concern laced in his voice, “I always thought you were… I don’t know. Older.”</p>
<p>“Nope. 23. Riza was 21. Maes was 22.”</p>
<p>He heard Ed sigh behind him, before he rested a now-flesh hand on his shoulder.</p>
<p>“I suppose I wish I was allowed to be a normal twenty-something. There’s a generation of us that just missed all of that. I wanted to give you advice, like a normal person. You know?”</p>
<p>Normal. Roy didn’t think anyone could really describe their lives as normal, but it didn’t stop a part of him from wanting to chase the impossible normal.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I get that,” Edward said finally, his grip slightly firmer, “My eldest kid is turning eight this year. I don’t know how to help him be a normal eight-year-old, since mum died when I was his age. I sure as shit don’t know what I’ll do when he’s ten. I think Winry feels the same.”</p>
<p>Roy nodded, “I… was a quote-on-quote ‘normal’ child. It only really went downhill when I was in my twenties. I suppose, if you combined our experiences, we almost create a complete person.”</p>
<p>Edward laughed. “Yeah, I guess so. I’ll need your contact information, then! You can teach them how to be normal for us.”</p>
<p>That thought brought a blush up from Roy’s neck. He drained the water from the sink and put the crockery on the drying rack. He turned around. “I can’t really say no to that.”</p>
<p>Edward grinned. “Can’t promise I won’t use you as a gofer too!”</p>
<p>“That’s part of the deal, isn’t it?” Roy replied with a similar smile, “I wouldn’t want you around if you weren’t going to make me go grey.”</p>
<p>Edward laughed again, and honestly; it was one of the most wonderful sounds Roy knew.</p>
<p>…</p>
<p>The next day, Roy woke up on the sofa.</p>
<p>Sunlight streamed through the window; it was still pretty early, so he had a few minutes to make some breakfast for him and his guest.</p>
<p>God, how long had it been since he last had a guest?</p>
<p>He ignored the rhythmic throb of his head and the stiffness in his joints, instead forcing himself up. With one hand he flattened his hair and with the other he opened the door to the kitchen.</p>
<p>Edward was either not up yet or he’d already gone. He would put money on the former for two reasons:</p>
<p>1. If Edward were to leave bed before 10, Roy thought the world would collapse in on itself, and,<br/>2. Edward never left any space without free food.</p>
<p>He clicked the kettle and put some eggs in a pan. The morning sun didn’t reach his kitchen, so it was still pretty cool and dark. It suited his headache well, at the very least.</p>
<p>He set up a coffee filter as the kettle boiled, and poured half into the pan, and the other half through the filter. Upstairs, he could hear movement. Maybe the whistle of the kettle woke Edward up? He’d better have food ready for him – even if Edward sending him to casualty would excuse him from paperwork.</p>
<p>The water popped around the eggs in the pan, with the steady background of the hiss of gas. Roy grabbed two plates and put the pot of coffee on the table.</p>
<p>As if on cue, as Roy took the eggs out and put them into cups with toast, Edward came thud-clanking down the stairs, slowly and heavily. Roy feared that, if he was doing this much strain to the stairs, there was no certainty that his bed was still intact.<br/>“Hey, Mustang,” He called, gravelly and deep, “What’cha cooking?”</p>
<p>Roy couldn’t help but feel endeared by the bedhead and the just-opened eyes. He looked like a tall, buff, man-version of the princess in those old Sleeping Beauty fairy tale books. The golden, fluffed hair certainly fit.<br/>Roy decided to keep his gaze fixed on Edward’s head. Any lower, and he’d have to face the consequences of lending him a shirt.</p>
<p>“Boiled eggs and soldiers. I have all sorts of sauces and spreads, and I’m in no position to judge you for what you use,” Roy replied with his signature politics-suave-unbothered face, “I also made a pot of coffee. I have milk and sugar.”<br/>Edward grinned. “You sure do know how to treat a man, Mustang.”</p>
<p>“Well, the fastest way to your heart has always been food,” Roy mused with a smirk. Ed swiped him on the head with a grumble and sat down. “Did you sleep well?”</p>
<p>“Pretty good actually,” Ed spoke, around a mouthful of toast. He swallowed and continued, “Where’d you get the mattress? Or is it one of those rich people mattresses?”</p>
<p>Roy laughed, “If I’m a ‘rich people’, then you are too, Edward. I got it from a manufacturer a few years ago. They’re out on the outskirts of central. I’ll have to tell you their address.”</p>
<p>Edward hummed and continued eating in silence. That is, if you’d consider loudly chewing and other random eating-noises as silence. Wordless was probably a better word for it.<br/>“What’s the time?” Edward asked, eventually. Roy looked at his watch.</p>
<p>“About ten past eight. Havoc picks me up at nine, so don’t feel as though you’re in a rush.”</p>
<p>Edward, eyes wide, stood up. “I had to be in lab by eight.”</p>
<p>Roy gaped. Edward scribbled something on a scrap of paper, shoved it into Roy’s chest and thundered upstairs, all in the blink of an eye.</p>
<p>Then, while Roy was still catching flies, he took off and out of the house.</p>
<p>Suddenly, the silence Roy had lived in for ten-odd years was a lot more suffocating.</p>
<p>In the choking silence, Roy turned a nervous eye to the slip of paper. </p>
<p>On it was an address and a number. There was a little heart in the corner of it, and honestly, that was enough to squash the feeling of emptiness back into its little corner.</p>
<p>He put the slip down and finished his food. And Ed’s. He continued through his morning like any other: had a shower, brushed his teeth, put on his uniform. Somehow, though, there was a little more life to it. <br/>And honestly, Roy was up for a little change.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Please feel free to comment any critiques or mistakes, like spelling or plot inconsistency!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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